Letting Go

Letting go of perfection and comparison is an act of kindness towards oneself and others.

“Is this right? Is this correct?”

I noticed a few perfectionists in the class, those who are in constant self doubt if they are doing it correctly.

“This is your plant. You can make it however you want. It’s not about getting it right or wrong. There’s no right way to make your own plant,” I responded.

Teaching upper graders mindfulness often reminds me of my own fears of imperfection.

Assisting them in making their succulent votive holders, I even catch myself correcting the kids when I see a little bit of dirt showing on the sides and on top. The perfectionist in me kicks in.

The experience leaves me grateful, acknowledging that part of me that seems to reappear:

• constantly asking for approval

• repeatedly checking the likes on my social media posts

What a hypocrite I was, telling my students to let go of perfection when I cannot seem to let go of my own expectations of how things should be. In those moments, I bring loving awareness to that part of myself that I am constantly struggling with.

Is this good enough? Can I be with the imperfections of life? Can I be with the outcomes that do not match my expectations?

In the movie "Encanto," one of the sisters, Isabella, who was seen as the perfect one found freedom in creating something that according to her "is not beautiful, but it's mine. What else can I do?" One of my students wrote an affirmation on her painting "Make a mess? Take it as a blessing. Another student commented "you can turn your mistakes to something creative" when she saw students starting from scratch when they messed up their painting. These students were practicing the art of letting go.

In another class, one of my students started tearing up, calling her floral arrangement “not pretty enough” because she didn’t have as many flowers as the other students in her group.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – C.S. Lewis

Hearing this saddened me, not because of her arrangement, but knowing that comparison stole the joy of arranging flowers in honor of her loved ones. I’m reminded of another trigger for my fear of rejection, and reduced sense of happiness and well-being: comparison.

In a show of kindness, her peers gave her their extra flowers to add beauty to her pot. I also gave her a few flowers.

Yet I wished I said something differently, in line with appreciating what she had and feeling joy for others, practicing sympathetic joy.

But how often do we feel so happy during the day until we start checking our social media feeds? Perhaps we start feeling sad and envious that other people have a better life than us? The grass is always greener on the other side.

I work on my own mindfulness while teaching in the classroom.

Even while trying to perfect a curriculum that is constantly changing with the different needs

of the students. I sit with adaptability and change instead of certainty, permanence and perfection.

Letting go of other’s expectations and standards, listening to my inner voice and trusting my instincts.

Teaching mindfulness has become my own practice.

Source: https://www.drshefali.com/the-3-most-important-messages-for-your-child/